Investigating or Spying?
by Slaughtered.Wings
Summary: After spying, or so called investigating, on Roy and his date, Riza is emotionally troubled. love triangle: RizaxRoyHavocxRiza. NO YAOI rated for language. Complete.
1. Chapter 1 Spies

Title: Investigating or Spying?

Disclaimer: Ed is not my son… T- T

Yesterday was so burning hot that I sweated while I slept. After showering, I start on putting my dark blue uniform. I used to disgust this uniform because I disliked the color. However, I guess I got used to it by now. I grew my hair for two and a half years, and they look better lengthy, even though I put my hair up. The color of the uniform keeps on reminding me of Colonel Mustang proclaiming that he will make all women wear mini skirts after he becomes a Fuhrer. I sigh and put on my black leather-boots, when my phone starts ringing. I hastily tie my boots and dash over to pick up the phone. It is Havoc speaking,

"Good Morning, First Lieutenant Hawkeye. Colonel Mustang wants you to be at his office as soon as possible. Well, see you later,"

I hang up the phone and something is bizarre. If Colonel requests me, why didn't he call me by himself?

* * *

As I enter the quarter, I see my teammates: Fury, Havoc, Breda, and Falman. This must be an emergency. Havoc greets me first, and the rest of the men salute me. I stand in front of Colonel's office, and when I raise my hand to knock on the door, Havoc interrupts,

"Colonel is not here."

"What do you mean, he is not here? If this is a joke, then…"

"Hey, listen. We saw Colonel with some _girl_,"

"You mean the same girl you went out a week ago and then got dumped? Ha-ha!"

"Shut up, you old fool!"

While Breda and Havoc were fighting, I felt something weird. Like a piece of my heart fallen on the ground and shattered. I felt… left out. I can't believe Colonel got another date. He went to the movies yesterday with a girl name Teresa or something like that. And now… (Sigh)

"And what was the point of calling me?"

"We want to investigate him. Or should we call _spying_ on him. What do you think, Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"…"

It was moderately tempting… Colonel's actions are getting on my last nerves... I know it is jealousy, and I know it is selfishness... So as his subordinate I must not… I can't… Then Havoc says,

* * *

"And as his subordinate, you ought to protect him."

"Why didn't Fury and Breda come along?"

"They had some assignments to do from Major Armstrong."

Havoc replies Farman as he takes out a fresh cigarette from his pocket. He places it between his lips and lights it up. Ugh… I can't stand that smell of dried herbs flaming into ashes. This scent was utterly different from the smoke created by Colonel's alchemy. Havoc found out that Colonel and the girl are going a café. The café is called Angelica. It is a very prominent store… for couples, Havoc says.

We have to walk about ten minutes to get there, so we are safe- yet... I had to change my clothes to casual; our uniforms are too perceptible. So, with no alternatives, I had to wear a pink skirt and a blouse with glasses. Havoc wore his jeans and a black T-shirt with white prints that are scribbled. Farman wore his usual clothes- a shirt and black pants with leather shoes.

"Are we there yet? I should've worn slippers..."

Falman asks. He looks so tired that he could just collapse on the firm cement street. Well, he is older than the rest of us…

"… Yeah."

Havoc turned his head to the right, and replied without confident. Falman and I look at the same course and we couldn't utter much but gasp.

Inside Angelica, I see Colonel Mustang and a very short girl with gold hair trimmed sitting by the window. I can only see her back, but I can unmistakably see Roy Mustang's face. All I can do right now are either go inside the café and make a fool of myself, or… abscond. It isn't the girl who staggered me; because it is a boy- Edward Elric- in front of Colonel...

* * *

Well, this is the first chapter of Investigating or Spying.

I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the chapters!

Do you think this story is yaoi

I want your reviews!


	2. Chapter 2 The Unexpected Guest

Ch2- The Unexpected Guest

_I wish I'm dreaming._

_I wish I'm having a nightmare._

_Oh, please, I can't take this any longer…_

_Something is wrong with me. I'm not sick; I don't have a cold; my bones are not broken; I don't have an illness; and I'm not lifeless. _

_Then why do I feel so frail, blank, and bitter inside? Why are there clear liquids in my eyes? _

_Why does my heart seek for someone so badly?_

'_Colonel… …'_

* * *

The sun escaped to nowhere, and the moon appeared without notice. The stars and the moon cooperatively illuminate the streets, though they are weak. No wind is created because it is summer. There are festivals outside with youngsters and the smell of fried foods.

Hayate is yawning beside the big veranda. I'm lying on my bed, and my pastel pink blanket is covering my whole undressed body. I can feel my pillow beginning to get soaked, but who cares. It's my own pillow.

Then I hear the door bell. Right now, it is twelve thirty, but who could that be? I tried to ignore the visitor, but he or she knocked on the door severally, which got on my nerves.

I get out of my bed and I put on my bathrobe. I hope this could cover up my body. As soon as I open the door, I was surprised to see Havoc on the other side of the entrance.

What the hell is _he _doing here?

"Hey, may I come in?"

He still has his cigarette on his mouth. At least they are not lighted up. I let him in and I noticed he wore his uniform back and brought some bottles of beer. Thank goodness… I was craving for those this evening…

I switch the lights on and Havoc sits on my small dining table as he pets Black Hayate. Then, when he looks up, he stares at my eyes directly. Suddenly he asks with a frown,

"Were you crying?"

I break out from his gaze, and I clean my eyes with the back of my palms. I pull the chair out, and I sit on it. I take out the bottles from the grocery bag and open up a bottle.

I can smell the alcohol through my nostrils. I forget about the cups and just take the whole bottle into my mouth. I gulp about five times, when Havoc takes the bottle away from me,

"Whoa, slow down! What's wrong with you?"

Some of the alcohol got on my bathrobe. I didn't mind, though.

"What's wrong with me? I- I don't know…"

Havoc sighs and fills the glass cup with beer. He takes a small gulp and starts talking pessimistically,

"I just came because I was bothered, and… to apologize. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so jealous of him that…"

I know, I _KNOW_. Don't talk about it, please… I just want to forget about it. I don't need your pity, and I don't need your apology. All I want is silent…

"Hey, Hawkeye,"

"What?"

I asked irritably. There was a pause for a minute. I can see he is thinking to say the precise words to me. Then he responds,

"The girl, I mean the boy you saw this morning… _was_ The Full Metal, I reckon."

"I know, so shut up. Actually, get out. I don't want to talk about it. Just go."

Havoc sighs and gets up from his chair without any strength. At the last moment he got out of the doorway, Havoc said,

"I'm sorry and… don't get hurt anymore… because then, I won't be able to look at your face…"

Havoc switched the lights off and closed the door. I sat there and let my tears drop to the ground for a while…

'_Roy… …"_

* * *

Well, that's it for chapter 2!

I hope you enjoyed reading it…

HAHAHA LOL

I would really love to read your opinions…

Thanks

S.W.


	3. Chapter 3 Almost

Ch 3- Almost…

After Havoc left my dormitory, everything was soundless… and dark…

It seemed like Hayate wasn't even there…

It seemed like I did not exist in this humanity…

'_It's so… so empty…'_

* * *

We were at Colonel Mustang's office, doing our ordinary work: signing papers, receiving phone calls, and categorizing files. Colonel Mustang was looking out through the window behind him leaving behind his paper works. He muttered,

"Look at all those trashes out there. It is disturbing our military's pride. What happened there?"

"There was a festival yesterday,"

Falman replied. Then Fuery said with dissatisfaction,

"Really? Aw man, I missed the carnival _again_! I thought it was next week!"

"Well, someone needs to clean them up. Havoc and Falman, today's task is to clean up the mess."

Colonel demanded as he rotated his chair 180 degrees. He placed his elbows on his desk.

"Excuse me sir, however I have a conference with Archer,"

said Falman. Archer? Isn't he tall and really pale- paler than the moon (ha-ha)?

"Very well, then. Havoc and Hawkeye, that is your assignment for today,"

said Colonel, while pointing at the window with his thumb. I stared at him and then looked at Havoc. He raised his thumb up and smiled.

This is just great. Since I had no option, Havoc and I replied in unison,

"Yes, sir,"

* * *

Havoc and I brought plastic bags, and when we saw the field, we gasped. Soda cans, plastic plates, and even food was laid on the solid ground. Ants were gathering up on a cotton candy machine, which was left behind by its owner. Oh, please…

I started collecting plastic materials and throwing them in the bag. Some plastic cups were sticky with juice, and sauces. Where are those _damn_ janitors, anyway?

"Ugh. This will be much easier with Colonel's alchemy. Everything will burn up, and yahoo, happy ending."

Havoc said with sarcasm. He stopped collecting trash, and took out a cigarette from his pocket. Good thing he didn't lit that damn crap.

"He will burn up the buildings, too, if he is not cautious,"

I said without thinking. It sounded as if I was concerned about him. As if…

"Hey, Hawkeye,"

I looked up from the ground, and Havoc was right in front of me. I lost aware when he snatched my wrist and pushed me against the building wall. Havoc was so close to me that I could hear him breathing. I never realized Havoc was _this _tall.

Havoc gazed at my fiery eyes like yesterday. He spitted out his cigarette. Ours eyes met, and when, at a snail's pace, his face came closer to mine, his lips closed in with my lips.

When I found conscious, I hurriedly took out my trustworthy handgun and pointed at his chest. Havoc stopped and glanced at my gun shockingly. Pause. Then with an ironic laugh, he whispered,

"You know, you are _definitely_ not my type; but, why are you so attractive?"

I glared at him for a while. There was silence for a while when someone's voicebroke the calmness,

"Havoc, that's enough."

* * *

So, yeah..

It seems to be HavocxHawkeye,

But you never know

I will wait for your reviews!


	4. Chapter 4 Repeat

Author's note: Sorry for updating so freaking late. haha. I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: Aww c'mon. Fine. Fine. I don't own FMAnor the characters.

* * *

Ch 4- Repeat

Havoc's head was blocking my view. I could only see his blue eyes and messy hair. I was shocked that I pointed my handgun toward Havoc.

"Havoc, that's enough."

I couldn't see the owner of the voice; however, I knew who it belonged to from the very beginning: the same voice that orders his subordinates around as if they were dogs; the same voice that whines about too busy to sign papers; the same voice that I always hear in his office.

Havoc looked over his shoulder and gave out a sigh, with a sound of disgust. I pushed Havoc to the side with my strength, and glared at him as I pointed my gun toward Havoc. I slowly lowered it, and I turned my head to see Colonel Mustang. My eyes were filled with surprise,

"E-Ed…"

I said his name- actually; it was more like a whisper to the boy with golden braded hair next to Colonel.

"Ah… First Lt. Hawkeye…"

Ed waved his hand slightly, with a small smile. I never thought that I would see him again- with _him_.

Colonel Mustang was leaning against the wall with his arms around his chest.

_What am I suppose to do now? _

As I stood there thinking the question again and again, I felt a hand on my right shoulder. I notice it was Havoc by the smell of cigarette smoke. I pushed his hand off of my shoulder harshly and walked slowly toward the exit. My hands and legs felt numb, but I had to run. So I did…

My right hand dropped my handgun, and I started running away from them as I heard the metallic sound strike on the concrete floor. Ed cried toward me,

"Hawkeye! HAWKEYE!"

_

* * *

When I see my prey, my shotgun will take care of it. It wouldn't be me who'll run away; it would be my precious prey. I will pull the trigger no matter what because I'm not afraid. In order to guard that one person, nothing will prevent me. _

_Blood doesn't affect me, nor does death._

I guess it's different, now. I never felt pathetic and useless.

I didn't know where I was. As soon as I started running, I was blinded by the sight of my memories. I was blinded by the thought of his face. However, I knew I ran for a long time.

For a moment I thought for a while. My occupation was to protect that person. But, was it because I loved him? Or was it because it was my father's desire? Was it ever something I was willing to do?

When I finally stopped my tears, I looked around the vacant room. It was very dark and still. The window across from me was glooming by the moon and the stars. I felt a wooden door behind me. As my eyes got used to the dark, I noticed it was my room. I tried to stand up, but my legs didn't listen to me. So I crawled over to my bed, mostly using with my arms, and laid only half of my body on the bed. My legs were still on the floor, twisted. I laid my head on my bed and closed my eyes again, as the last drop of water flowed down on my cheeks.

Five minutes was not long. Ten minutes was not long, either. For me, ten hours wasn't long.

I didn't sleep. I was tired, but sleep didn't overpower me. My face glowed by the sunrise through my window. I slowly opened my eyes. It was summer, so the sky was blue and the sun stood there alone. I gave out a sigh, which made me feel a bit better. I looked over my shoulder to see what time it was.

I was tardy for work.

* * *

The office was very quiet, as if nothing happened yesterday. Havoc dozing off with his crap on his mouth; Fuery cleaning his glasses with a handkerchief; Falman organizing documents; Breda eating, as usual; and me carrying the huge piles of papers that needs to be signed. Colonel Mustang was talking with Hughes over the phone. As I walked toward his desk, I could hear Hughes bragging about Gracia, his wife. I swear I heard that there is a possibility that she might be pregnant _again_. 

I dropped the pile of documents, saluted to the Colonel, and returned to my seat. I opened the left drawer for a pen, but I found my handgun instead. I was confused for a while. I checked if there were any bullets left. It was loaded.

As I opened the other drawer, Colonel stood up from his chair and putted on his coat.

"I'll go out for some air."

The crew, including myself, stood up to salute. So is this how's going to be everyday, from now on? The thought of that made me wonder if I was useful to him; if I was worthy enough to protect him. My stubborn head was saying yes, but my heart was saying no. I truly _pitied_ myself.

I shut my eyes hard until the Colonel gets out of his office for some "air." The Colonel grabbed the cold door handle, and shut the door. Everyone sat down on their seats, and continued doing their daily activities. Suddenly, Havoc stood up from his seat, and ran toward my desk. He stopped and glared at me- no, my eyes. I looked down and ignored Havoc; however, that did not last long. He came by my side and took my wrist. He pulled me toward the door.

"HAVOC! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

There was no reply from him. I just kept quiet, and let Havoc drag me. The officers were staring at us as passed by them. Finally, we ended up on our locker rooms.

"Change and come with me. There's something I need to show you."

"Havoc, what are we doing anyways?"

Havoc pushed me ruthlessly and I heard his answer behind the doors,

"Investigating. No. As I said before, we're spying, again."

* * *

I'm really really sorry that I updated soooo late.** Gomene! Gomene!** Anyways.. 

Thank you everyone who R&R :P I really appreciate that. haha.

Well, once again please R&R. Thank you


	5. Chapter 5 Failure

... hello everyone... yes... it seemed like decades since i haven't upload anything... i'm really sorry, especially for those of you who were waiting impatiently for the next chapter. I have two hard classes and i barely had time to even read any manga or watch anime. Well, here is chapter five. It's very short, but... Please enjoy. R&R please xD

Chapter 5- Failure

"You know, it's so weird seeing you with a skirt- not to mention your hills," Chuckled Havoc as we walked toward a car. I ignored his comment, and I unpinned my clip and let my hair down. I placed the pin inside my right pocket, and I took out my glasses and put them on. With awkwardness, I reached out toward the door of the car. Before my hand reached there, Havoc already opened it for me.

"Ladies first," said Havoc with a dumb smile. I got in the car and Havoc closed the door. As I buckled my seatbelt, Havoc ran around the car and got inside. As he closed the door, the scent of his cigarette overflowed in the car. I glared at him for a while, and opened all four windows. Havoc sighed as he turned his attention to the outside.

"Ok, off to Angelica," declared Havoc.

* * *

What a weird sensation, I thought, to be hiding behind this rose bush.

"A-choo! Ugh…" sneezed Havoc.

"Damn it… I forgot I was allergic to roses," grumbled Havoc while blowing his nose.

One bush after another, we hastily yet quietly, moved about. Some people did stare at us as if we were cavemen. We were at least 15 feet away from Angelica. Feeling completely foolish, I asked:

"So… what's this _great_ idea of yours?"

"Ha-ha. Like I said, we're spying right?"

"Uh… yes, which I think it's utterly stupid and worthless."

"Is that what you really think? Then why did you follow me? I mean, you were the one who drove the car, right?"

"For your information, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, _you_, sir, don't have a damn driving license and a car. After you got caught twice without it, your car got taken away. Am I correct?"

Havoc didn't reply back. He turned away from me, and he started to walk toward the café. I instantly grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"What the hell are you doing? He can't spot us!" I yelled at him.

Havoc hesiteated to reply back.

"... Ugh, screw Colonel! You know, you try to seem as if you are strong. But I know you. As physically as you may be strong… your eyes were trembling- still are. I don't know the current _you_. I don't like your current _you_. Come back, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. If the Colonel's action affects you this much, how can you _possibly_ sacrifice your time- your** life**, for Colonel Mustang? Come back. Don't let emotions get the best of you."

At that moment… I thought I realized what was going on… I laughed at myself. Quietly… then loudly. I laughed until tears came down flowing. I laughed until I had to catch my breath back. I laughed… until I was consciously aware how foolish I was for the past few days.

Then, all I saw was darkness.

* * *

The sound of tick-tocks' awakened me slowly. I opened my eyes slowly, as the sunlight shining through the window pained my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hands, and realized I was still on my "casual" clothes. I angled my face to the right, and noticed that I was on my bed. I got up slowly, uncovering the blanket. As I placed my feet on the cold wooden floor, Hayate closed in and licked my fingers that were reached out to pat him. I smiled at his greeting, and lift him up on my lap.

"How foolish of you to faint in front of a crowd… especially in front of me."

I surprisingly turned my back, and I saw Colonel Roy Mustang leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed. His eyes were concentrated on mine. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed, I faced downward, and stayed wordless. The ticking of the clock was the only rhythmic sound that was present. We stayed quiet… until Colonel Mustang broke the silence.

"For the second time, you disappointed me, First Lieutenant Hawkeye. Not only did you fail to attack your enemy, thinking that I was dead; but, you also failed to stand firm and follow your duty as my subordinate."

I did not reply back. As much as his words were hurtful, they were utterly true.

Colonel Mustang got off the wall, and started to walk slowly toward me. His heavy footsteps echoed in my head. My head was filled with fear… and sadness. As he closed in, he stopped walking. Then, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me lightly.

"Riza… I don't want to tell you these words to you. But what I _really_ don't want is for you to lose yourself. _Twice_ you killed yourself. You… you gave up just like that. I don't want you to break and fall because of me. If I was the reason for your brokenness, then I rather just _die_… Riza… look at me."

His hand firmly held my chin, and he pulled my face upward. His eyes were black… dark… full of thoughts.

"For the past few days, if _that_ was your real self, then I don't know you. You know how painful it was for me to bear my anger… my _frustration _toward your actions? Your weakness… it must never be _me_… ever. Can you promise me that?"

My eyes did not even blink once. My mind did not reply his question. I blanked out.

Until…

Until…his lips… touched mine.

My first and last comment was said quietly, yet clearly.

"Colonel, I failed your test… because, sir, you _are_ my weakness."

* * *

I hope all of you enjoyed reading ch 5

i may or may not upload another chapter

or just end it this way. thank you xD


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